I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
