There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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