We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
