Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
