That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
