my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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