Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I AM VODKA MAN
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
