you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
