That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
