my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Randomize
