What a fucking waste of an outfit
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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