He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
