piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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