I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
