Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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