we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
