I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
