During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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