Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
