5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
