There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
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