Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
i think i just lost a toe
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
