party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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