This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Come back. Shots need mouths.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
