That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
