You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
