MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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