I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
