Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
