if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
we should paint friendship bongs
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