My Higher Power is John Stamos
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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