he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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