I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
