dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Randomize
