so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
