Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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