Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
