he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
