Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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