HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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