His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
