we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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