she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
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