I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
