I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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