and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
