About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
