I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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