i think i scared a bird with my dick
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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