I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
