Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
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