he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Randomize
